


Loss

by slayingdragons



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slayingdragons/pseuds/slayingdragons
Summary: I noticed mine right after I woke up on my 18th birthday. It was a sentence so short and small I almost missed it.“I love you,” was what it said.





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Poet somehow convinced me to sign up for MX Bingo. Decided to write for the soulmate theme first and I honestly don't know if this is good enough, but I hope you enjoy it.

Do you believe in the concept of soulmate?

It is said that humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. This might sound like another baseless myth, but I guess this one must be true. Why, you might ask, that I think this one myth is true. Simply because when we turn 18, a sentence appeared as some sort of tattoo in our bodies. A sentence containing your soulmate’s last words to you.

I noticed mine showing up on my left wrist right after I woke up on my 18th birthday. It was a sentence so short and small I almost missed it. “I love you,” was what it said. I spent a good amount of time during the time wondering what these words would mean to me before I decided to leave it. If Zeus really did separate us from our other halves, he did one hell of a job of keeping us from knowing who our soulmate is. Until death that is.

To everyone my age, finding “the one” is their purpose in life, but I don’t particularly care about the concept of soulmate, so this has never been a big deal to me. Or so I always tell myself, because I’ve been betrayed a lot in the field of love. Trust me, when the one you love wholeheartedly keeps being taken away, you’d want to convince yourself that you don’t care about love, let alone soulmate. And yet, I just couldn’t seem to get over the loss I felt when my dearest Hyungwon suddenly told me he finally had someone he cherished. I cried and cried to Hyunwoo, a close friend of mine. He listened to me patiently, telling me that everything was gonna be okay and I’d somehow get through it.

For a while, everything seemed fine, except the feeling never went away. It felt like there was a gaping hole in my heart, waiting to be filled. I was breathing, yet I didn’t feel alive. I went through my days as if I didn’t have any soul.

My dark days came to an end when Hyunwoo finally forced his way in to my apartment.

“If someone who fills the hole in your heart is what you need, I’d do it for you!” was what he said.

It’s still fresh in my memory how he looked desperate that day, how he gripped my shoulder and pleaded emotionally, asking me to try to get back on my feet. His usually stoic face looked surreal under the golden light of the afternoon sun. I remember nodding weakly, and he proceeded to pull me into a hug, whispering sweet nothings and ‘I love you’s. I didn’t notice that my tears had started to fall, and the moment I did, I realized I had never cried harder during the 20 years I had been alive.

With Hyunwoo’s help, I put my life back together. The gaping hole I had in my heart was slowly filled and I felt whole again. Since then, 4 years had passed in a blink of an eye. I thought I could put everything behind me and live my life peacefully, but no, my past came back and haunted me. Half a year ago, Hyungwon came back into my life, broken. He’d been dumped in the worst way possible by the one he thought was the love of his life.

The moment he stood before my eyes, I felt like my world was turned upside down. I didn’t know what got into my head, but I told him I’d help him put his life back together. And just like that, I started keeping secrets from Hyunwoo. And even though I kept my mouth shut, my feelings of guilt got the better of me. I knew Hyunwoo noticed, he kept asking me if there was something wrong. I know a person like me don’t deserve his love, but I was greedy. I love Hyunwoo, but I couldn’t let Hyungwon go either.

Maybe it was karma due to my own foolishness that punched me right back on my face. Hyungwon got more and more daring by day, and I, consumed by my own fragility, bowed down to his dominance. This morning, he showed up at my shared house with Hyunwoo right after he left for work. I told Hyungwon to go home, that I didn’t want Hyunwoo to know that he was back in my life. He didn’t listen. We fought a bit before he took a step forward and captured my lips. I struggled, but he was a lot stronger than me, he put me right where he wanted me to be without much effort.

I didn’t notice the door had swung open. Hyunwoo was at the door. I texted him that he had left some documents home, so he must have come back to take it. He didn’t say a word and left, rushing back to his car. I shoved Hyungwon aside and ran after Hyunwoo, but I couldn’t run fast enough to catch him before his car left the porch. I took my phone out to call him, but he wouldn’t answer my call. Defeated, I sat quietly on my porch, a tear threatened to escape the corner of my eyes. Hyungwon sat beside me, offering his company, and I shouted at him, telling him to get lost. Much to my surprise, he got up and left, leaving me all alone in my misery.

A few hours later, my phone rang, it was Hyunwoo’s number. But when I picked up, it wasn’t his voice that greeted me. It was a lady’s voice, introducing herself as a nurse from a certain hospital. My whole world crumbled before me when she said I need to rush to the hospital as Hyunwoo got into an accident. He was speeding and didn’t pay too much attention to the road, and a truck hit his car from the side.

So here I am, crying beside Hyunwoo’s bed as he’s rushed to the ER, telling him repeated ‘I’m sorry’s and ‘I love you’s.

“Wonho,” he whispers weakly while raising his hand, telling me to be quiet.

“I love you.” he says right before entering the ER, leaving me all alone in this empty corridor.


End file.
